Pas de Deux
by General Querencia
Summary: While learning how to cope with some heavy losses, a very young Prince Xander is forced to tolerate a hopelessly optimistic sellsword as his new retainer. Laslow proves to be nothing more than a reminder of his own inadequacies, but the mercenary has his own secrets hidden behind his portrait-ready smile. And they may just be the answer to each other's problems.


_Author's Note 1:_ This AU takes place several years prior to the events of Fates with Laslow, Selena, and Odin all fresh additions to palace life. It was difficult to make the "canon" ages coincide with my vision, so it's a bit inaccurate, but I hope the concept works nonetheless. I wanted to toy around with the idea of awkward teenage Xander a little bit. This is my first time writing MxM, but I promise it won't be a smutty one. Originally, this story was supposed to be a joke. My forum friends would play around with Xander x Laslow as a crack pairing, but somehow I vowed to make our crazy antics into a beautiful story, so here I am trying my best.

 _Author's Note 2_ : According to Wikipedia, a pas de deux is "a dance duet in which two dancers, typically a male and a female, perform ballet steps together." I wanted my story to reflect a format similar to this dance, so here's hoping the metaphor works.

* * *

 **Pas de Deux**

 **Chapter 1: Entrée**

I hated him, every piece of feathery ash-grey hair on his perfect little head. I hated that even though I was taller, his arms were twice as strong. His scent, somehow always sweet and floral even after training, lingered in the hallways like a rancid reminder of his history. His optimism glowed so brightly through his eyes and portrait-ready teeth that he practically blinded everyone he met. The timbre of his voice could charm the birds right out of the sky in the same way a knife raked across glass might drive a room of unsuspecting citizens into madness.

I thought I had thoroughly expressed my hatred. I addressed him with words of two or fewer syllables. I failed to return his greetings. I assigned him menial, repetitive tasks to waste his time, even after he was granted permission to retire for the evening. But he continued to cling to me like a sickness that needed a host to survive.

Retainers could exist outside of their masters. Once before I had watched one fall in love with the stable girl, court her for three years, and propose. They weren't these creatures that lived underneath their master's bed, but this one seemed to live only to exist as a part of me. I couldn't turn to catch my breath without seeing his face, permanently lacquered with a facade of happiness, staring back at me. Sometimes, I noticed that his eyes didn't always smile back. Even though they shined with the same brilliance, it flickered, bending but never really breaking.

That's when I noticed that I was paying too much attention to him, but to be fair, he was difficult to ignore. 

* * *

Xander roared, charging towards his target, a lithe mercenary with far too much spring in his step. The sellsword shifted his feet in a pattern eternally evolving in complexity, keeping time to a rhythm only he seemed to feel. The prince's charge creeped along, weighed down by the broadsword dragging along the ground behind him as well as the amused giggles of maids passing by the training grounds. He stumbled, bringing his charge to a halt just long enough for the giggles to fall into a hideous silence. However, the prince's target merely stood his ground, tossing a wink at the maids, as the prince resumed his approach. The mercenary merely raised his own blade to receive the blow and redirect it.

"Excellent form! I felt that one in my bones. Your stance has improved substantially. I'm certainly impressed, Sire!" He broke his stance, jumping up in place several times without missing a beat in his footwork. "Have at me once more!"

"You're...doing it...again." Xander slashed at him from the side, twisting his blade in hopes of gaining some leverage, but Laslow kept his feet planted firmly on the ground, matching his master's strength without breaking a sweat. Xander grunted, lungs spasming with each raspy breath.

"Doing what?" He cocked his head to the side like a bird might if it were staring at a piece of bread.

"Not...trying." Once more, Xander broke the parry, but Laslow raised his blade and caught it above his head. This time, he struggled a bit to maintain the position and jumped back right as Xander's arms threatened to give way, a smile still plastered on his face.

"I promise, Sire, I'm not. Today, we'll work on strength training; tomorrow we'll work on speed. I will admit, you rely on your horse a bit too much, but that's something a little perseverance can-"

"We're finished. Your bobbing makes me nauseous." Wincing as sweat dripped from his blonde curls into his eyes, he let his sword slip from his grasp and clatter at his retainer's feet. "Clean that."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the young man stoop down to pick up the sword, and for just a moment, something twisted in his heart. He stopped, waiting for the feeling to pass, but it didn't. It wormed its way through him, tying his stomach in knots, infecting his thoughts with doubt and fear and anxiety. He held a fist to his lips as if choking back vomit. He could still hear giggling in the distance even though the maids had already disappeared.

"Sire? Is there something else you needed from me?"

And the feeling was gone. The young prince tightened his grip on his fists and left the mercenary without even a parting word, secretly hoping those same doubts he harbored would root and fester inside the young man's mind as well. After that, they would never disappear. Laslow sighed, unfolding bit by bit as he rose from the ground, swords in hand. By all means, he was an average man, perhaps a bit quicker and far more flexible than some, but he thought himself to be amicable. He thrived on first impressions; apparently he had left a good one on King Garon, enough to get hired, but not enough for the young prince to like him.

"Well this is a royal mess…."

"He's just lonely," a voice squeaked from behind him.

"Hm?" Radiance incarnate, almost blinded him; unfortunately for him, Radiance was still just a child, short enough to hide behind the tall grass. A smile crept back onto his face. "I thought I spied someone in there. Does your mother know you've been spying on us?" Leaning on Xander's practice blade, he knelt to the ground once more to greet the child that was crawling through the garden, her white dress stained with greens and browns of varying shades.

"I like to watch my big brother train! Father doesn't let me do anything like that yet...so I can watch!" Her mood seemed to bounce up and down just like her perfect ringlets of blonde hair that danced about as she bobbed her head from side to side. "You're fast too! And funny! And and...your head is kinda' big."

"What?" Laslow dropped the blade he was supposed to clean to paw at his skull for any unnatural growth. "Princess Elise, I don't think a lady of your status should be saying such foul things… Have you been speaking to Niles perchance?"

Elise merely shrugged, stooping down to pick up the fallen blade. It was easily the same size as her. She grunted, finally able to prop it up on one of her delicate shoulders. "I know lots of girls that want to be my brother's friend, but he always hides… You should help him make friends! And then he won't be lonely! Or sad! Hey!"

Laslow stood, taking the blade from the girl with little effort. He swung it over his shoulder and tossed her a wink. "Well, why don't you point me in the direction of some of these potential friends, and I'll see what I can do. There's not a woman in existence that can resist these charms. I've been known to turn a few men as well."

"...turn them where?"

"Ah...right towards the street because strange men shouldn't be wandering through these gardens, especially with a princess around. Now, lead the way. I trust you'll be my noble guide through this quest, Princess."

"No! You're the princess, and I'm the knight." Tiny fingers wrapped around his tunic and tugged him down towards the bushes. "Hurry up! We have to crawl!"

"Why?"

"They'll see us."

"Who?" She pressed a finger to his lips.

"They'll hear us too, so you can't talk."

"I suppose a princess can't argue with that logic…" 

* * *

There was something comforting about the tender embrace of an elderly tree. It didn't care if it was loved or not, thriving upon Mother Nature's promise of sun and rain. To some extent, it relied on the mercy of mankind, but its love wasn't conditional. It provided shelter and security regardless of mankind's looming threat to end its life with the swift swing of an axe. Xander ran his fingers along the arching roots of the natural fortress, tapping out an uneven rhythm to test its fortitude.

"Stop that," a boy's voice barked from feet away. Xander lowered his head enough to peer through the tangled mess of foliage and tree, barely able to see the thin body hidden inside the ancient oak's embrace.

"You haven't listened to a single word I've said…"

"Probably because I don't particularly care," the boy responded. "I might care more if you weren't using my personal time. There's no telling how long it will be before someone important finds me."

"Leo, you shouldn't be hiding from your retainers or Father. Where did you send Odin to this time?"

"To find a tome. Unfortunately, I just discovered that the scribe who supposedly penned it never finished. He's been searching for three days now; Niles volunteered to look for him, leaving me with the sweet sound of silence."

"What if you need them?"

"You shouldn't lecture me about my retainers when you came here to escape your own. Crying nonetheless."

Xander picked up a rock near his feet, turning it over in his hand a few times before throwing it into the general direction of Leo's voice. A moment passed, followed by an all-too-satisfying prepubescent yelp.

Leo clicked his tongue, rubbing the welt that would no doubt bruise the delicate skin of his arm."You can't blame everything on your injuries or your lack of social graces. I've been lenient thus far with the situation, but blaming a fit like this on one incident almost three months old? That's childish. Beyond childish."

"And sending your retainers on impossible quests isn't?"

"I'm not even thirteen yet. I can afford to be childish. But I don't believe you've had such a luxury for many years now."

"Never." Xander pulled his knees up against his chest, squeezing his eyes shut. He could still taste the saltiness of his dried tears on his lips. "Please don't tell father."

"What do I have to gain from telling him that you cried? It won't make him like me any more. In fact, he would probably think I was a sniveling snitch for doing so. You would resent me as would Elise, and I certainly don't need that weighing on my conscience."

"I guess a few good things come from your practicality." Xander picked up another rock to fiddle with, scraping off the dirt lodged into its crevasses with his thumb. "I've never seen him train once. He's just some sellsword that amused my father. How in the world does he best my training without even trying?"

"Simple. He's innately better than you. Probably more physically capable as well. You're built like a priest or a mage, not a knight."

"You're not being helpful." But it was true. Despite his efforts to train, his clothes still hung on his body. He could only lose weight, never gain it in any shape or form. If it wasn't for his height, no one would believe he was the eldest.

"If you came to me for help, you came to the wrong sibling." Leo sighed, licking his finger and turning the page of his book. "Your own hatred of him won't get him fired. You'd have to catch him doing something...unsavory."

"Then would you let me borrow Niles when he returns?"

"Do it yourself. This is your problem. You'll be an adult in a few weeks. Maybe you should start acting like it."

"You couldn't even try-"

"Sugar-coating things never fixed them."

"Neither did tearing people down."

"Perhaps I'll find a happy medium between the two before puberty has finished her work on me. Until then, I'm afraid I have no sympathy to offer. You should try Camilla."

"I don't feel like being smothered today."

"Then go out and do something about your so-called problem instead of moping. I'd like to enjoy what little peace and quiet I have left."

"What if I leave, and you get kidnapped?"

"They'll bring me back. I'll make sure of it."

Xander finally decided it was time to get up. He stumbled over several large roots towards his little brother's lair, thumping him on the head before moving on towards his horse.

"Some of us still miss them too," Leo added once Xander had mounted. "You shouldn't act as though you're the only one in the world affected by their deaths."

"You're not the one that has to live with an inadequate replacement." 

* * *

By time Xander returned to the castle, he had missed the evening meal. His extended ride hadn't done much to help untie the knot in his stomach, so he had little desire to eat much of anything. He really just wanted sleep. Lots of it. He knew that after neglecting an afternoon of studies, tomorrow's schedule would be particularly brutal. He reached the safety of his room, threw himself inside, and rested his back against the cold barrier between his personal space and the rest of the world. Rubbing at the ever-growing bags under his eyes, he noticed that his hands trembled even if he balled them into fists. A lack of proper nutrition. That's what Camilla would call it, but he hadn't done anything to deserve a meal. Not in a long time. Under his spindly fingers, his face felt hollow and gaunt like a skeleton with barely enough skin to clothe it.

 _Please let me disappear. Let me disappear._ Some god would hear him. He was sure of it.

"Good evening, Sire! I'll admit, I was beginning to worry about you."

Xander's eyes snapped open. He blinked several times, but no matter how hard he tried to banish the image, it was still there. Laslow sat on the edge of _his_ bed while a woman of all things dug through the contents of his nightstand, apparently too engrossed with her findings to regard his sudden appearance. When she finally lifted her gaze, the indifference of her icy blue eyes tore through him. A smile played on her lips as she retrieved a lacy fan from a sash on her dress, using it to fan his embarrassment. He looked off to the side, a knot in his throat.

"I hope you don't mind. A reliable friend of mine said she was dying to meet you, and I thought you could use some pleasant company. Miss Jane here was just telling me about your antics with her sister. I hadn't a clue you had such a rebellious side!"

The woman rose, prowling towards Xander like a cat even in heels far too tall to be sensible. She snapped her fan shut, using it to lift the young man's chin to meet her gaze. Still flushed, he was stiff and unmoving underneath her touch. Lips trembled to form some sort of greeting, but the sounds that he managed to wheeze out could hardly be considered words. After moving his chin from side to side several times, she released him, pink lips parted in dissatisfied pout. "Laslow, I thought you said we were meeting the crown prince." She returned to the mercenary's side, leaning down to his ear, her whisper probably not quite as subtle as she had probably hoped. "I hope you weren't lying to me."

"Why would I lie to you?" Laslow furrowed his brow, regarding the woman for a moment before returning his gaze to Xander. The prince's eyes were glued to the floor, his hands still clenched in pale, trembling fists. "This is Prince Xander."

"Oh… How embarrassing." The woman tittered, hiding behind her fan once more. "For a moment, I mistook him for Princess Elise."

"Milady, how could you-"

"I couldn't simply take my sister's word for it. Something like this you have to see with your own eyes, but apparently the rumors are true after all. His sisters took the beauty; his brother took the brains; and his father kept all the power for himself. How unfortunate."

"That's enough, milady." Laslow rose, stepping between the young woman and his master. "I think it would be wise for you to apologize."

"Or else? You can't do a thing to me unless your master orders it."

Tears pooled in Xander's eyes, threatening to roll down his cheeks. The woman laughed, cutting into his already throbbing head even more. "Of course not. Out of all the things you could be, you've chosen to be kind...or is it pathetic? Delicious." She tapped Laslow's forehead with her fun, brushing beside him back towards the prince and the exit. She loomed over Xander once more, clearing her throat until he edged out of her way, giving her room to leave.

"Sire...I had no idea-...I promise, I'll get an apology from her. I was under the impression she wanted-"

"Go hang yourself." Xander's voice cracked.

"But-"

"Now." He jerked a finger out the open door. "Don't let me see you again!"

The prince stood his ground, every part of him trembling as he struggled to maintain the simple stance. Laslow waited until he thought the young man might collapse and bowed at the waist, hastily exiting before the situation could deteriorate further. Xander shut the door once more and locked it, fighting back the tears still hovering in limbo in the corners of his eyes. Not again. He wouldn't cry this time. He dragged his haggard body to his bed and collapsed face-first, the mercenary's sickeningly sweet smell assaulting him almost instantly.

 _Please let me disappear. Let me disappear. Let me disappear._

 _Let me disappear._

 _Please._

* * *

 __ _Author's Note 3_ : Can't have romance without a little bit of angst. I promise that things will pick up soon. With luck, this will be a four part fic. I'm not quite sure when I'll get the opportunity to update, but I'm incredibly happy that I got the first part in time for Valentine's Day! I'm not entirely satisfied with this piece, but I've been working on it on and off for a while now. I've tweaked it enough that I think it works, but as always, I would appreciate any comments or critiques!


End file.
